“Too simple was queenly Eos,” the poem goes on, “she thought not in her heart to ask youth for him, and to strip him of the slough of deadly age.” She begged Zeus that her lover be granted immortality. From these experiences, Gawande learns a new style of talking about death with his patients.įinally, Gawande also reflects on the lessons offered by Tolstoy’s “Death of Ivan Ilyich.” The titular character’s quest for companionship and recognition of his full humanity just before he passes inspires Gawande to advocate for the same for contemporary patients.T here’s a Homeric hymn that sings of a mortal man beloved of one of the gods: Eos was goddess of the dawn, and so enamoured was she of Tithonus that she couldn’t bear that one day he would die. As a point of contrast, he also describes the harrowing final moments of those who endured risky and ultimately futile procedures in order to gain just a little more time. He notes the instances in which an acceptance of mortality helped patients truly have quality time at the end.

The experiences of patients figure into Gawande’s equation for a good death, too. His father instead remains as active as possible nearly up until the end, and just before he passes, Gawande’s father is medicated just enough to be at peace and to dictate to his family how he wishes to have his ashes dispersed. The author describes his worry as a loving son when his father opts to not undergomajor invasive surgery that might give him more time.

Instead, his grandfather would be placed in a nursing home, where he would have been deprived of all the things that gave his life meaning, all in the name of prolonging his life.Īssessing the passing of his American physician father, Gawande appreciates his father’s difficult decision to not fight death by any means possible. Both died with dignity, he feels, but he acknowledges that in modern, first-world nations, the way in which his grandfather passed away in India-at home, surrounded by relatives who did not curtail his activities or appetite-would never happen. The author reflects on the deaths of his own grandfather and father and maps out what went right and wrong in those processes.

Being Mortal by Atul Gawande